Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out, especially when there are family members, friends to give your reasons why its going to fail. And some in their sincere mind of care may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart-broken.
Of course Nobody says it is going to be easy — the extra distance makes many things unpredictable and unachievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times but that should be your anchor.
These Feelings of loneliness could makes the simplest things the sweetest, being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long distance relationship.
Long distance relationships may be tough but they have their own surprises too. To keep your love alive and strong, here are 8 tips to make your long distance relationship work:
#1. Technology As Tool To Close The Gap:
“A lot of the people who had glued in a relationship testified of how technology has been a great tool, This tool helps you to keep your partner up to date with activities you have been involved, you can share that real-time of importance too, with photos, video call, texts and Skype. These very different from letters or long-distance phone calls,”
Moreover, these technique has helped people in long-distance relationships to stay connected, in some ways tech allows them to communicate verbally even more than couples who see each other [often], some who sit in the same room but not interacting at all.”
#2. Avoid Excessive Communication:
You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving or exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.
#3. Value This Time As An opportunity:
“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.
View it as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.
#4. Make An End Point Plan:
Long-distance relationships have a shelf life, and the key factor that makes this type of arrangement work is having an end goal or date in mind when it will be possible for the two of you to be in the same place together so it’s imperative to make an end point plan — whether that means one of you eventually leaves the company you’re at after a period of time to look for work in the place you’re relocating to, one of you finishes school, or whatever circumstance is the main disruptor that’s keeping either of you from moving in order to be together. “long-distance relationships were meant to be temporary,”
The goal is to be with the person you love. Therefore, in order to maintain a long-distance relationship there has to be a ‘light at the end of the tunnel.’ In other words, there must be a date established for the separation to end.
#5. Be Confident in Your Relationship:
According relationships experts, insecurity can lead to one partner checking in on the other one too often. This can result in excessive calls and texts being sent for the wrong reasons, and can lead to unnecessary tension.
“The constructive reason couples communicate is to provide their partners with a sense of their lives and what’s important to them. When the communication is hijacked by insecurity, the anxious partner will not be reassured, and the other partner will be turned off by the constant checking [in], “The frequency of interaction in couples separated by distance needs to correlate to the same parameters of interaction when both are at home. It needs to be at a level agreeable to both parties.”
#6. Avoid Being In That “dangerous” situations:
If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand so as to reassure him/her.
Don’t be careless about this sort of matter because your partner is only going to be extra worried or extra suspicious, and of course, very upset, because you are putting him/her in a position where he/she feels powerless or lacking in control.
Also, It could be easy for you to fall into the trap which you, unconsciously or not, set up for yourself by “hanging out” with your office eye-candy after work, or going out with a girl or guy from your past who has been flirting with you. You need to recognize the dangers before entering into the situation.
Don’t just listen to your heart. Listen to your mind too.
#7. You Need To Know each other’s schedules:
It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and when he/she is free, so that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when he/she is in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Know the small and big events that are taking place or will take place in each other’s life e.g. college mid-terms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews and etc. This is especially essential when the both of you are living in different time zones.
#8. Stay positive Always:
You need to be constantly injecting positive energy into the long distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonely but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven.
One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.
There is this important factor that has a tremendous impact on whether or not a relationship will be able to handle long distance and that is the maturity of both parties involved. “There is a certain amount of maturity that’s needed to even attempt a long-distance relationship…
“For example, high school sweethearts that go to different colleges and promise to keep the relationship going almost never keep that promise. The more mature you are, the more you can delay gratification and put in the maintenance you need to stay in touch over the months [when you don’t see each other]. You also have to be strong enough to resist temptation, which is typically more difficult that people think, and have tremendous trust in your partner, “it take maturity to trust”. You’re going to have to believe whatever your partner tells you about their habits and social life, and some people have a hard time doing that.” so maturity is a great factor in making long distance relationship work.